Left In Awe
This month has been a crazy one. I've never experienced one quite like it.
I recently switched jobs from being a shift manager at a clothing store to a photographer at my college. As they offered me the position, I knew 100% that it was the job that God wanted for me. It had His name written all over it. There were promising hours and it was in the right direction for me career wise.
Fast-forward a couple weeks. I had little to no hours. My bank account was bare. Bills were due at the beginning of the month. There were no clients scheduled. So, I did the only thing that I knew to do in that situation. I went to God. While I sought Him in prayer I kept hearing Him repeat, "I am going to take care of you. You have nothing to worry about." It's easy to be in a difficult situation and panic. It's easy to try to take things into your own hands and try to figure out how to solve it yourself. However, for me, with God's repeated assurance over my situation, it was a no brainer to give Him control. Over and over I heard those words as I read my bible and as I prayed. I knew that He was going to take care of me. All I had to do was to keep working hard and to prepare myself for the incredible miracle that I knew He was about to perform in my life.
It was already the middle of October. I still didn't have any clients lined up and still didn’t have enough money to pay my bills. There were a couple of clients I was able to shoot for, which helped, but I was still shy of the amount I needed. I continued to pray, to fast, and to read my bible. I even sought help from of a couple of the leaders in my church and asked them to pray peace and patience over my situation. God continued to remind me that He was going to take care of me. At that point, I wasn't panicking, but I was looking at the calendar thinking, "Ok, God. Any day now would be nice." God's timing... it's definitely something you can't predict.
There was a job opening at the school, which I had applied for. I had an interview on October 24th, which was just one week away from when my bills were due. On October 25th, I woke up to an email saying that I had not been offered the job. I would be lying if I said that I wasn't a little bummed out. It would have given me extra hours towards my paycheck and would have been something nice to rely on. With that, I didn't know what else to do. I had offered to give clients discounts, asked my boss for more hours, and even looked for another job. I did everything in my power to raise the money. Disappointed, I continued to go through the rest of my inbox. The very next email was a request for senior photos. I couldn’t believe what I was reading. God closed the door to the campus position and immediately opened another, saying, “That job is not what I had planned for you, but this is.” I was and am still speechless. God provided. He did it.
That senior session, which we scheduled for two days before my bills were due, covered everything. Tithe, offering, rent, my phone, car insurance, everything was covered. I was even able to purchase a pair of reading glasses that I desperately needed. God left me in awe. He came through on His promise. In the book, Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge, it says, “Where God guides, He provides.” That is exactly what took place. Throughout the entire month, I refused to doubt God. Fear and anxiety rose, sure. The work of the devil is always strongest when God’s promises are near. But let me tell you, the second I felt those emotions and thoughts cross my mind, I immediately doused them by repeating His promises, proclaiming His authority over my situation. There was no way I was going to let the devil win that war.
I now have this incredible testimony that I can share with people of how God came through for me in my time of need. These struggles in life shape us and refine how we handle tough situations. It says in Romans 12:12, “Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.” That’s all God wants, is our trust and our pursuance of Him (Matthew 6:33). If I can encourage you in one sentence it would be this: Whenever you find yourself experiencing a seemingly hopeless situation, turn to God. There is nothing on this earth that can do what He can. You are wasting your time in trying to figure it out by yourself. Simply go to Him in prayer and ask for His help. He’s there for you and wants to see you live a rich and satisfying life (John 10:10). Trust me when I say that relying on God always has a better outcome than relying on ones own ability.